When was the last time you had brethren over to your home for a meal? When did you last eat with brethren you had not known before? Perhaps at the Feast of Tabernacles? When was the last time you were invited to another Church member’s home for a meal?
When was the last time you had brethren over to your home for a meal? When did you last eat with brethren you had not known before? Perhaps at the Feast of Tabernacles? When was the last time you were invited to another Church member’s home for a meal?
Why does this matter? What does eating a meal with brethren have to do with being a Christian?
The primary way in which God’s people "assemble together" is, of course, at weekly Sabbath services (Hebrews 10:25). But, as Christians desirous of growing up into Christ (Ephesians 4:15), what else can we do to deepen the bonds of fellowship with our brethren? Attending the commanded weekly "holy convocation" is vital, but we must also "consider one another in order to stir up love and good works" (Hebrews 10:24). Have you considered the importance of the fellowship and activity that occurs outside of the weekly Sabbath service, where so much mutual encouragement can take place? Have you considered the importance of eating together with your brethren?
Why is it so important that we stir up love and good works among one another, especially as we draw close to the end of the age? Jesus Christ highlighted the difficulties that would come upon society and God’s people before His return (see Matthew 24; Mark 13; Luke 21). How important will our relationships with fellow Christians be as times grow more difficult? In Proverbs, God reminds us, "there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). And "a brother is born for adversity" (Proverbs 17:17). If we do not have close relationships with our spiritual brethren, will we be able to rely on those relationships for support when "the going really gets tough"?
So, how do we develop close, loving, and supportive relationships with our spiritual brothers and sisters? To do this, we must spend time building those relationships and getting to know each other. For this very reason, the Apostle Paul admonished the brethren in Rome that true Christians must be "given to hospitality" (Romans 12:13).
Hospitality has always been a vital part of true Christianity. Notice this description of first-century Christians: "And they continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers" (Acts 2:42). Breaking of bread—enjoying fellowship during a meal—was a central feature of first-century Christian life! Notice that this was a shared duty; the brethren broke bread together "from house to house" (v. 46).
Be honest with yourself. What excuses do you have for not inviting brethren to your home or apartment for a meal? Are you too busy? Is your home too small or "not nice enough"? Is your home too dirty or unkempt? Is it too expensive to host guests in your home? Do you dislike cooking?
Christ called His followers His "mother" and "brothers"—His family (Luke 8:21). In the same way, we should view our fellow Christians as family. Eating together with our brethren will help us grow closer as a Church. It will help us grow closer to each other. It will help us become better able to share with, pray for and serve each other. It will also help build the bonds that will allow us to endure through tough trials and the prophesied times ahead.
Steps for Growing in Hospitality
So, what can you do to grow in hospitality? What can you do to overcome some of the barriers to doing your part in serving the brethren "from house to house"—including your home? Here are several ways to help ensure not only that you can eat with your brethren, but also that you can build the lasting ties that will bind the Church more firmly together:
Keep your home "presentable" at all times. Have you ever thought about inviting brethren to your home, but decided not to because you were embarrassed by how "messy" your home was at the time? One simple way to overcome this barrier is to be sure to keep your home relatively neat all the time— not necessarily spotless, but comfortable enough for guests. Make it a point to pick up after yourself, and put things away when you are through with them. Keep your bed made when you are not using it, and teach your children to follow suit. This way, you can be ready to have your home clean enough for company in just a few minutes.
Be yourself. It is important to remind yourself that although you are an "ambassador" for Christ, you are not the head of state, and your home is not the royal palace. People sometimes feel intimidated if they cannot cook a gourmet meal or "impress" guests with something fancy. But this is not necessary. Getting together for a meal with brethren is not done to impress, but to serve and to get to know one another. In fact, most people prefer the familiar atmosphere of a relaxed get-together, and may even be uncomfortable at the prospect of a "formal" dining occasion. Remember that the ultimate benefit of eating together is the opportunity to get to know each other and to deepen friendships, not to have a "fine dining" experience. In this regard, one of the most memorable meals my wife and I have shared with brethren was completely unplanned by our hosts. We were visiting a congregation for the first time when an older man and his adult daughter invited us to their home for lunch after Sabbath services. Their home was truly a "humble abode" and the food was not fancy. We talked together in the kitchen as they "threw something together" for all of us to eat. The food was simple but tasty, and the conversation was spiritually stimulating. Their demonstration of love left a long-lasting impression. The s e brethren could have been embarrassed by their home or the simplicity of the meal, but instead they were focused on serving their guests. Because of that Christian focus, they set a lasting example for us.
Keep it simple and focus on serving. You can make an inexpensive and simple meal that is both tasty and nutritious! Consider even chili, soup and bread, spaghetti—or whatever is easy for you to prepare. Nearly every culture has a chicken and rice or hearty soup recipe. The point of being hospitable is to serve and to get to know people, not to "entertain" or "impress" them or put on a show. It is also important to avoid the "Martha Trap." Scripture records one gathering during Christ’s ministry on earth, when He was together with some of His disciples for food and fellowship. Mary and Martha were both involved in serving a meal to the guests. However, Mary and Martha had different perspectives on the event. While Mary took time to mingle with the guests and take part in the fellowship, Martha became so distracted by "serving" that she did not take time to interact—get to know, speak with and learn from—her guests. When Martha complained to Christ that Mary was not as preoccupied with service as she was, Christ helped her to see the error in her approach (Luke 10:38–42). When you have brethren over for a meal, make sure that you are not so busy serving that you miss out on getting to know your guests.
Plan to eat with brethren regularly! Hospitality is Christian service, and you should push yourself to serve regularly in this way. Most of us can reasonably set a goal of hosting brethren for a meal every two months—and some who are more energetic, and have the time and resources, can plan to do so once a month. Remember, the goal is to build relationships, not to take on so much that your serving becomes routine or burdensome. Be sure that your groups are of a size that you can really get to know—and spend meaningful time with—all of your guests. And do not form a "clique" where you are always serving or being served by the same brethren. Get to know all your brethren, and include a variety of people in your plans.
Consider sharing the opportunity to serve. Think about joining with some other brethren to share the planning, expenses and responsibilities of a gettogether. For some brethren, especially those who are single or who work in a full-time job, preparing for guests in their home is too much work to do by themselves. If this is your situation, consider asking someone else to help you host some brethren for a meal. Choose your guests together, and share the cooking responsibilities. This will reduce the amount of work for any one host, and will increase each host’s opportunity for fellowship with the guests.
It is OK to ask guests to help you prepare a meal at your own home. Consider allowing your guests to share the cost or the labor from time to time. Asking guests to bring the meat, a side dish, or a dessert is perfectly acceptable, and may make the difference between having people to your home and not doing so. It may also help your guests feel more like they are contributing to the event—especially if you are having many people to your home.
Remember to serve those who cannot "repay" your service. Human nature would dictate that you only invite to your home those people who will invite you to theirs. But the Christian principle is to invite guests who may not be able to invite you to their homes in return. Remember, Christian hospitality is about serving your fellow brethren (Luke 14:13–14). You can invite guests who are able to return the favor, but it is important to God that you also serve those who, for whatever reasons, cannot reciprocate. All God’s people are important to Him—and should be to us as well.
God has blessed each of us in different ways. He made us all in His image, and He has called us at this special time for a powerful purpose. God wants us to fellowship together, and not just during Sabbath services. We should all be trying to increase the amount of fellowship—and the depth of fellowship—we experience with God’s people.
So, make it a goal to meet and get to know better those brethren you do not currently know very well. Remember God’s admonition that it is "more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35). When we practice hospitality from the heart, we are the ones who really benefit. Giving is fun and extremely rewarding, and its end result is a Church more tightly knit together, more warm and outgoing, and more reflective of the character trait that Christ stated His true disciples would have: "By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another" (John 13:35). Hospitality brings true Christians closer together! As we spend time in fellowship, whether at a meal or in other activities, the time we spend with our brethren helps us to build our bonds in the faith even stronger!