Do you sometimes feel overwhelmed by feelings of frustration? Certainly we all face frustrating situations from time to time. If we are not careful, we can become so completely focused on the source of our frustration that we lose sight of everything else. In doing so, we lose sight of the much more important issues that are facing us—such as whether we are fulfilling the roles and responsibilities God has given us, and how we are growing spiritually as we handle frustrating situations.
Scripture tells us, "there is nothing new under the sun" (Ecclesiastes 1:9). This means that, no matter what emotions we are wrestling with, others have wrestled with them as well. So we can and should look to Scripture, to learn how others coped with those very same feelings. We can read the stories of the men and women in the Bible, and can try to understand what it must have been like to "walk in their shoes" when they experienced situations like our own.
Perhaps you feel frustrated by a situation that you cannot fix. When you ask God to fix it, nothing happens. The situation just drags on, or even grows worse. Are there any examples in Scripture where the people involved must have felt similarly? Certainly, there are! With this in mind, we can look at some sources of frustration, and consider several descriptions from the Bible of people wrestling with feelings of frustration.
The Example of Job
Although none of us has experienced such loss and suffering as Job, we know he wrestled with many of the same emotions we do—including frustration. Job's calamity came upon him suddenly, but it did not end quickly. We are told that his trial lasted for months before he repented (Job 7:3). In addition to losing his children, his servants, his health and his wealth, he also suffered from sleep deprivation! Throughout his suffering, his close friends Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar tried to "help" by pointing out that his problems must be the consequence of his secret sins (cf. Job 4:7–8).
Try to imagine what Job must have felt like as his trial continued—seemingly without end. Certainly, Job was frustrated, hurt and confused. He was so frustrated that he even wished he had never been born (Job 3)! He did not understand what was happening, or why God had "let him down" and allowed him to suffer. Job was frustrated not only because of his trial, but also because he could not understand the reason for it. To make matters worse, Job's three close friends became part of his trial, giving him their own misguided opinions instead of offering sympathy.
As the months dragged on, Job tried to understand why his trial continued. He asked God for relief, but nothing happened. His suffering dragged on, and gradually worsened. His "friends" kept picking at him, and he continued to suffer from lack of sleep. Job was discouraged and frustrated, and his situation was not improving. We can see the depth of frustration he wrestled with, but what can we learn from
Job's frustration? Instead of following the example of Job's friends, trying to answer the question they could not answer, we can take a different approach. The Apostle Paul wrote, "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).
To understand how this verse applies to Job, we must look beyond the physical. Romans 8:28 explains a spiritual principle, so unless we look at the spiritual dimension along with the physical, we cannot understand this verse in action. Physical life is transitory, and is meant to prepare us for what lies ahead. In this life, we are preparing to become part of the God family—preparing to work under Christ in the Kingdom of God (cf. Hebrews 2:5–8; Revelation 20:6). How do we prepare for this awesome future? We prepare by building God's holy and righteous character in our lives.
God is so powerful that He can turn to His advantage (and ours) even what appear to be the most severe setbacks. What was the outcome of Job's trial? Job built holy and righteous character. He came to a much deeper understanding of God, and he was blessed physically with twice as much as before (cf. Job 42:5–6, 10).
What about Job's children and servants, who lost their lives at the beginning of his trial? They will yet have their opportunity to become a part of God's family for all eternity!
The Example of Eli's Sons
Perhaps your frustration stems from a problem that has continued for a long time, with seemingly no change. Maybe you cannot fix the problem, and you feel that God is unwilling to help. The account of Eli the priest and his two sons, Hophni and Phinehas, can teach us important lessons about situations when it seemed that the people could not do anything to fix a problem, and it must have seemed as though God was not hearing their cries.
When we are introduced to Eli's sons, we are told about their great wickedness (1 Samuel 2:12–17, 22–24). These evil priests profaned the sacrifices and offerings that were brought to the tabernacle. They made no effort to hide their adulterous affairs, and they were also leading others astray! These two wicked sons of Eli clearly deserved the death penalty, yet they were allowed to continue in the duties of the priesthood.
Imagine what it must have been like to be a God-fearing Israelite at that time. You would have been powerless to enforce the death penalty upon the wicked priests; that responsibility fell to their father, Eli. It would have been a sin to take the matter into your own hands— "who can stretch forth his hand against the Lord'S anointed, and be guiltless?" (1 Samuel 26:9). You could not stop Eli's sons from profaning even the sacrifice that you brought to God, since if you would not cooperate with them, they would take it by force (cf. 1 Samuel 2:16). Nor could you have made your sacrifice in private, because to do so was a death penalty offense (Leviticus 17:8–9).
Certainly, it would have been incredibly frustrating to see the tabernacle of the God you serve profaned in this way. It would have been terribly disheartening to see others led astray by Hophni and Phinehas. It would have been heart-wrenching to cry out to God day and night about this abomination, yet day after day see absolutely no change whatsoever in the situation. Over time, more and more Israelites withdrew from God. Some followed Eli's sons, while others withdrew from the tabernacle out of discouragement and frustration.
In the midst of this, God was very upset about what was happening. He was working speedily in His way to bring this evil to an end. Yet most of the Israelites would not have recognized God's involvement in the situation.
What is the lesson? Often, when we are wrestling with frustration and there seems to be no change, we are not seeing the "big picture"—that God is indeed involved, and His purpose is being worked out actively (cf. Luke 18:1–8).
In the matter of Hophni and Phinehas, God was working with Eli—being patient with him and hoping he would indeed do what needed to be done. God was also preparing Samuel to lead the nation. To the Israelites, it may have seemed that God was allowing the problem to continue for decades, but God was working to achieve His purpose. And God did bring justice to pass, exactly as had been prophesied (1 Samuel 4:11).
Even when it may seem that God is not hearing our prayers, we must remember that He does hear—and He will intervene. While we wait for God's intervention, we must continue to grow spiritually and build His righteous character in our lives by the way we handle our frustration. We must remember that our hope is not in vain, and we must not let our frustration at what seems to be God's inaction prevent us from growing through the trial. Scripture tells us that "in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart" (Galatians 6:9). God promises that one who "sows to the Spirit" (v. 8) while waiting on Him will reap—in His time. This often requires us to wait patiently.
Focus Is Vital
The ability to focus is a very powerful tool. As with any powerful tool, the result can be absolutely awesome if the tool is used in the right way, but can be terribly damaging if the tool is misused. Are you using the tool of focus in the right way? If your sense of frustration is growing, you may be misusing the tool of focus, by concentrating more on the source of your frustration than on the bigger picture.
Focus is the key to coping with— and overcoming—frustration. Frustration builds when we focus on the cause of our frustration, and it abates when we focus on something bigger. We clearly see this principle at work in how the Israelites reacted to the report that the spies brought back from the Promised Land. The people focused intently on the problem—the strength of the inhabitants (Numbers 13:31–33). They missed the "big picture"— God and His promise (Exodus 23:20–31). The predictable result was that they acted out of frustration and became unfit to receive the promise that was theirs for the taking.
We all face different frustrations, but the way we can all cope is the same. If we want to avoid being distracted by the physical problems around us, we must always place our focus first and foremost on our Father in heaven, and on His plan. If we do this, we can keep our physical problems in their proper perspective.
Human nature has not changed since the Bible was written. The people we read about in Scripture wrestled with the same emotions—including frustration—that we experience today. Not only do their examples show us how to cope with our frustration, they will in many cases make our own sources of frustration seem very minor, in comparison to theirs.
If you allow your frustration to go unchecked, it will grow until you eventually become so obsessed with the source of your frustration that you will be unable to look beyond your situation or see anything clearly. If this happens, bitterness and resentment will begin to set in. You will find yourself in a weakened spiritual condition, where it will become harder and harder to use the tools necessary to cope with frustration in the proper way.
Peace is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22). That peace is much more than the absence of war; it involves freedom from oppressive thoughts or emotions—and it cannot co-exist with frustration. Our feelings of frustration should serve as a warning that we need to do a better job of directing our focus, so that we can grow in the fruits of the Spirit. While we wait—for however long—to see God's answer to our prayers, we must never forget what God has promised us in Galatians 6:9—"And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."