Do you find it difficult to pray when you are discouraged or depressed? It is ironic that just when we need God's help the most, we may have our greatest difficulty in reaching out to Him for the help that we so desperately need. Why is this? It is because we doubt. We may doubt whether God is hearing our prayers. We may doubt that our prayers can make a difference. We may even doubt that God really wants to help us. Just when we need God's help the most, we may doubt that His help is available.
During these times of doubt, we may find it difficult to pray, if we can even bring ourselves to pray at all. We have trouble knowing what to say, putting our thoughts into words, focusing on our prayers and blocking out distractions. These troubles can discourage us further, and can feed any doubts we may have.
How can a Christian escape this spiritually self-destructive approach? How should we pray when we are discouraged—when we feel all alone, when we feel as though things cannot possibly grow any worse? How can we pray when we cannot see the "light at the end of the tunnel"?
Start With What You Know
It is important to go back and start with what we know, and then work forward from there. Starting with what we know will establish our focus in the right place. So, what do we know that we can use as our starting point? We know that God exists. We know that the Bible is His word. We know that His word is faithful and cannot fail. The proof of these truths is all around in His creation, in His prophecies that have been fulfilled and in the many mighty miracles that He has performed. Starting from what we know, we can then move forward using His word as our guide. Whatever our discouragement, God's word holds the key to helping us move forward.
Sometimes we feel unable to reach out to God in prayer because we cannot forgive ourselves. But where did we get the idea that we have done something so terrible that God cannot forgive us? Does this discouraging idea come from God's word? Certainly not! The idea that God cannot forgive us— and that we cannot forgive ourselves— is an idea rooted in self-pity that comes directly from Satan!
In Romans 3:23 we are told that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." In other words, everyone has come short of God's glory. No amount of righteousness or good works will ever atone for the mistakes we have made. We must accept the reality that there is nothing anyone can ever do to "earn" salvation. In Romans 6:23 we are told that "the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
We have all fallen short, and the penalty is death. Only through Christ's sacrifice do we have hope. This stands in stark contrast to the Satan-inspired idea that there are different classifications of sin. Call them mortal sins and venial sins, or call them greater sins and lesser sins, but the idea that some sins are grievous, while others do not really matter, is not an idea rooted in God's word! The Bible tells us that, as far as God is concerned, all have earned the death penalty through sin—but that the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Christ's shed blood pays the penalty for our sins, as long as we continue to repent and keep striving to overcome.
Have you stumbled so many times that you are embarrassed to ask God for forgiveness? You may think, "If I were God, I would have given up on me a long time ago." We can all be thankful that our Father in heaven is merciful and forgiving—more merciful than we are, and more merciful and forgiving than anyone we have ever known. Consider the example of the Apostle Paul. Before he was called, he was involved in the murder of Christians. Paul, also known as Saul, was persecuting and trying to destroy God's Church. Consider the enormous guilt that he must have felt after God called him (Acts 9:1–5). Consider his tremendous feelings of guilt upon realizing that he had been doing Satan's work. Yet, because Paul was deeply repentant, God not only forgave him, but went on to use him in a remarkable way!
No matter what we have done, and no matter how many times we have stumbled, all we have to do is repent—turn from sin—and move forward with God's help, striving to build His character in our lives, and accepting that Christ's shed blood has washed away our sins.
Expect Trials
Perhaps we are going through such difficult trials that we feel we have no hope. It may seem as though our trials are overwhelming us, and that they will never end. What does God's word say? The Apostle Peter wrote: "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened to you" (1 Peter 4:12). We should not be shocked and surprised when we face grievous trials—we should expect them!
Why should we expect such difficult trials? Hebrews 2:10 reminds us that our Savior was perfected through suffering. There is no shortcut. Growth is difficult, and is often painful. Thankfully, we need not endure our trials alone and without help. No matter how difficult our trials may become—even if we feel abandoned by those around us— God promises, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you. So that we may boldly say: 'The Lord is my helper'" (Hebrews 13:5–6).
God wants to perfect us, not to overwhelm or crush us. Christ was sent not to condemn us, but to save us (John 3:17). God is on our side; He is not "out to get us." He does not want to see us stumble or fail. He is arranging our circumstances so we can overcome our carnal human nature, build His character in our lives, and eventually share in His glory as part of His Family for all eternity. Why is He doing this? Because God is love (1 John 4:8).
We must always remember that our loving Father in heaven takes great pleasure in hearing our prayers. He enjoys the time we spend with Him in prayer, in much the same way that a loving parent or grandparent delights in spending time with children or grandchildren. And He knows what we need, even before we ask (Matthew 6:32). Since God already knows what we need, even before we ask, why does He want us to ask for it? Why does Scripture instruct us, "let your requests be made known to God" (Philippians 4:6)?
It should be clear that God wants us to pray for our benefit, not for His. After all, not only does He know what we need before we ask, He also knows what is in our hearts and our minds (1 Samuel 16:7). So, what do we gain by praying, if we are simply telling God what He already knows? Prayer is a vital exercise. It forces us to focus on Him—the One who has power without limits, who is bigger than our problems (cf. Matthew 6:9–13).
When we focus on God, this helps us gain the proper perspective on our problems. When we talk with our Father about what is on our mind, we can speak freely—even bluntly. We need not be ashamed, because God already knows our thoughts before we express them to Him in words. As we talk through our problems, we should tell God how we feel. If we know that our attitudes or our feelings are wrong, we should tell Him. We can explain to Him why we feel the way we do, and we can ask Him to help us overcome those feelings.
This act of talking freely to God moves our focus away from the physical and puts it on the spiritual— on our Father in heaven who loves us and who gave His Son for us (John 3:16). It puts our focus on His word and on the principles it contains. As we focus on God, it will become easier for Him to work with us—to mold and shape us, to guide and direct us.
Be Thankful
Philippians 4:6 reminds us that as we make our requests known to God, we should do so "with thanksgiving." This approach also helps us put our problems in the proper perspective. No matter how much we need, we can be thankful for the many blessings that far outnumber our needs. We should also remember that there is often a difference between what we think we need and what we really need. Sometimes we confuse our wishes and desires with our needs. As we tell God what we need, or what we want and desire from Him, it is fitting that we always do so in the context of being thankful for what He has already done for us, and for what He promises He will do for us in the future.
As we spend time earnestly pouring out our hearts to God, our focus shifts away from preoccupation with the physical realm and our own problems, and onto our Father in heaven. As we focus on what He is doing, and on what He will do, we begin to focus on His plan for us, and He will respond by helping to guide not only our steps, but also our thoughts. As we focus on His role as our helper—the One who will never leave us or forsake us—we will more deeply realize that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13).
We can take great comfort from Paul's words: "And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). When our lives seem difficult— when it seems that God's answers to our prayers are not what we had hoped—we can meditate prayerfully on this scripture. In doing so, we can begin to grasp the "bigger picture," gain a proper perspective on our problems, and realize that God's plan is much larger than we are— that He can bring good out of even the most painful experiences.
However, in order for that good to come about in our lives, we must continue to focus on God. We must not allow ourselves to become distracted by self-pity. We must not allow ourselves to be led astray by Satan's wiles. Rather, we must continue to focus on the One whom we thank for making us a part of His grand and masterful plan. When we feel discouraged, we can turn our minds to the Apostle Paul's words, which give us hope: "For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us" (Romans 8:18).